Sourdeval August 2020

A holiday in Normandy, with a most welcome silence, except the sounds of nature, geese, cows, birds, wind, rain, thunder and the mewing of a kitten called Boy.


How to use common sense in trying times? What does it mean to be healthy in the year 2020?

Personally, I doubt if prepping by buying canned food and other long-lasting food- products are useful. One needs to know how food is produced and fabricated first, before making a choice of what to stock up. Apart from knowing one’s motive, coming from fear or from the use of common sense.

AMARIAN edited 08-2020

What’s in need to be questioned?
Do I live in a safe location (with my family)?
What brings me peace of mind and body (and those of my family)?
What do I need to study, explore and learn, practice, in order to create a lifestyle that keeps me alive (with my family)?
How do I reach peace of mind?
Do I have to be at peace with my mind first, before finding clarity of mind?
What’s the best choice, navel staring and wait for answers?
Or start acting and DOING things that need to be done… in order to.. achieve?

At times, the answer emerges from the question, when it’s about peace of mind. For isn’t it true that finding peace of mind is equal to being at peace with one’s mind? In the presence of our NOW?

Many of us live in a linear fashion of mind and when a plan is made, it’s like a path disappearing in the distance with the destiny at the end. With peace of mind at the end next to it. Hence the lack of peace at the start of such an endeavour, for our mind goes fast-forward reaching toward that state of peace…. at ease, at the end of that path. A choice on itself can be a state of peace in itself, a conscious creation with clarity.

When we reach forward to that destiny, with our attention, we risk ignoring the beauty that grows alongside our chosen path, even our travel-companions and the way-showers at crossings with other travellers on it. Those travellers are also way-showers often, showing a different approach/direction.

In other words, seeing oneself as whole, complete and capable right now, is helpful, to focus on our present moment and be joyful about it, in contentment. Including others around oneself, sharing the same path, close by or a bit further on distance. Every journey begins with the first step, make it an enjoyable one, I suggest.

To me, the best self-empowering way to achieve one’s goal, fulfil one’s mission, and create a lifestyle that includes the wellbeing of all creatures and not just one’s own, with confidence in tow, is making everything a choice, consciously. No matter how small.

And start acting on that choice, with observation in tow, also of one’s inner responses and physical signals. Without the judgment of failure, doubt, guilt or shame ruling one’s choice, observed nevertheless, at times. They can remain “passers-by” disappearing again.

When daily life, in its practicalities, such as finding out how to survive and be safe, shows a need for change, a need for a new choice, then one makes a new choice, in the same fashion, etc. etc. By doing this consciously, one is able to witness motive, manner and style of achieving, within oneself and in others. That’s highly effective, potentially, and educational, see what I mean?

Even more, when this ability is shared with one’s family members and/or one’s community-members, life begins to be so much more interesting and rewarding. Communication rises to a whole new level, in openness, non-violent. Of course, it’s a learning curve and a work in progress, always. No linear fashion is helpful in this realm. Which brings me on the subject of time.

In the Western world, we’re living in linear time, with a flat surface of the clock in a circle of 12 numbers. In the ancient world, we were living in cyclical time, with the number 13 pulling off the circle of 12 from the clock’s surface, into a spiral. The Classic Mayan priests observed the skies, were capable of observing planet Earth from a distance. They observed the completion of 13 full moons in a year of 364 days. Each moon lasting 28 days 13 x 28 = 364 days. In other parts of our planet, this was known as well, like in the Shinto religion of old Japan.

Today, July 25th, is the Day Out of Time, according to the 13-moon calendar of the Classic Maya astronomers. Today, it’s Kin 118 White Magnetic Mirror. Reflecting, confrontational, cutting the crap. Magnetic means: nr 1, leading a 13 day-wavespell. I’m a Yellow Cosmic Star Kin 208, the 13th in a wavespell.


Today, July 26th 2020, is New Year’s Day on this calendar, with the Blue Lunar Storm Kin 119. The year-bearer until July 24th 2021. The energy of the Blue Lunar Storm is polarizing by nature the action needed is “stabilizing”  and the purpose is “challenge”.


. . Tone 2: Lunar – Relationships & Polarity

The image of the Blue Storm is in the centre.

Blue Storm is your Conscious Self – who you are and who you are becoming.

White Wind, below, is the Subconscious Self and Hidden Helper.                             

Yellow Sun, at the right, is the Complimentary factor – something that comes naturally to oneself.                                                                                                                                 

Red Moon represents your Challenge and Gift. With maturity and awareness, this challenge will turn into a Focus. This is what you desire to learn in this lifetime.

For more info or study of the 13 Moon Calendar of Natural Time, I suggest you visit my page “Mayan wisdom and Tzolkin tools” here.

Challenge doesn’t have to be experienced in soaring blood pressure and heart palpitations. Unless our physical safety is at stake. Making everything into a choice releases one from insecurity and confusion, which are energy-draining emotions.
It requires stepping out of duality consciousness and release polarizing tendencies.

Every choice is a piece of mosaic in the pattern of one’s plan, be it in survival mode or in times of peace. The latter may emerge from the former. Unless our physical safety is at stake, and after all, ask yourself, while reading this, how much comfort you’re enjoying? Our external conditions and circumstances are no rulers over us, unless we make that a choice, consciously.

Wouldn’t we immediately feel that this choice leads to a confused state and bewilderment? When we’re not practising observation of our instinctual responses, wouldn’t that cause damage to our autonomy?  Therefore, we need to be truthful to ourselves and clear about our motives and drives.

Laughing now, I confess that I remind myself often of what I’ve shared with you here. 😊 🎇 🏡 🗽🔯 💃


Add title

The way the medical industry has begun to look at symptoms of flu and fever, any form of response by a healthy immune system to infection, poison or substance causing an allergy, is as if it’s not supposed to be present and if it’s an enemy, a bad thing that should be avoided or done away with.

Hence the general view and methods to fix any condition that is a result of that natural response of our human immune system. The understanding of “health” has become a materialistic view with expectations of how it should look like and feel. Appearances and performance, these two have become the norm in many aspects of our lives, in Western societies since the start of our 2nd Millenium. The external world and the virtual world of the internet of things are given more attention than what’s stirring beneath the inner lining of our bodies and the state of our emotional and mental balance.

Springtime shoots

Know that I’m impressed by the technical development in surgery and physical repair with plates, new knees, hips and other parts of the physical body. There are doctors and nurses who dedicate their life and love for healing and putting an end to suffering.

Plus, an equally important argument, from that materialistic point of view, that the economy shouldn’t be affected by these “disturbances”: the need to go on sick-leave and be away from work for long periods of time. That’s not convenient to the machinery of money-makers and the slave masters who expect often that human beings are automatons, obeying to what’s designed by these masters on their “blackboards”.

Since I’ve retired from working life, the world of labour and the 24-hours economy looks like utter madness to me. All my working years I’ve worked a maximum of 3 days a week, for I knew that my health would suffer from a 36-40 hours working week. Besides, I need my work as an artist, crafter and writer. Creativity is the oxygen in my body and the gym for my soul.

The biggest mistake that the present medical industry has based its treatments on is the idea that the human immune response is a sign of dis-ease, while in truth it’s a sign of health: the ability to respond to an effect with a lively vigour. The higher the fever, the healthier one’s immune system is. It’s a sign of a proper response and the more we allow our immune system to be alive and kicking, by living in a natural way, which, to me, means life in connection with the soil, the elements, the changing of the weather, a conscious relationship with nature, the animal and plant kingdom, and stewardship in a communal effort to create nurturing conditions within the family and the world at large.

Living conditions without the use of disinfectants, antibiotics, chemical substances: killers of bugs, bacteria and all other crawly critters affecting our system, the stronger we’ll keep ourselves alive, feeling healthy and conscious about our health and the choices we make to take care of our physical, emotional and mental condition.

It’s my pillar of trust in life, that when I say “Yes” to life, life responds with a “Yes” to me. Asking questions, wondering and pondering, is your birthright. That’s called “the use of common sense” Most of our anxiety is a result of going in circles with imaginations + fantasies: easily resulting into fear. Fear for the unknown that doesn’t exist. That condition drains your energy, the energy that is made to better use for your daily activities, your joys and sense of fulfillment.

Thank you for visiting, blessed be, Marian.


The summer of my year in Holland

Utrecht, Monday, July 6th 2020

The last weeks, since many birds have fed their offspring and seeing it fly away in good health and a glorious springtime, the bird-visits are changing in my garden. At first, it was 1 duck-couple, rummaging in and around the water bowl, walking up and down the sloping end of my garden with a water stream nearby.

Now, word has spread and 3 female ducks are visiting the place, inspecting the whole garden, one of them utterly surprised when it noticed me sitting in the porch, watching a curtain of rain in front of me. The garden hasn’t seen much human presence in it since I’ve been away for almost 5 years and my house-sitter enjoyed the view through the living room window.

I’ve noticed how much at ease the animals in my garden move around in it. There are great tits flying horizontally through my garden at a height of 1 meter or less. There’s no human body in the way, see? These quick clownish birds rummage in the ivy near my window, hanging upside down at times and following the window sill, inspecting cracks and hidden spots, meanwhile looking in.

Also, the birdfeed table has seen new and different visitors. Crows appeared, picking up the bread pieces. One large crow flew off with them, after throwing them in the water bowl for a few seconds, before feeding its offspring in a nest nearby. Jays and jackdaws, magpies, great tits, sparrows, pick food from it too.

I’ve watched the large black crow on the birdfeed table, looking down at the 3 lady-ducks rummaging in the water bowl. So expressive and curious!  The ducks were blissful innocent and felt no threat at all. It was their daily outing, taken for granted. When a morsel of food falls off the bird feed table, the crow is alert and jumps down to pick it up. Crows are intelligent for sure and very perceptive!

Last week I’ve placed a garden ornament in the garden, made of metal with metallic colours on it, bright, in the shape of a peacock. One leg is stuck in the soil. As soon as the large crow arrived, it noticed the metallic bird and jumped down, walked to the peacock and started picking at the parts, trying to take out the bright blue glass in it. I knew that magpies love shining objects, but crows seem to love them too!

And pigeons, of course, they’re present too! A couple of friends lives in the cherry tree for many years and they make their usual cooing-sounds. Now joined by the turtle-doves as well. I’ve never seen turtle-doves in my garden before! The fat ones, ring-pigeons, are called “the pigs of the sky” in Amsterdam.

Well, I’ve noticed that those fat ring – pigeons, not the elegant turtle doves who always come in pairs, eat the most of what’s on the bird feed table and fast too! When a jackdaw or a magpie joins the ring-pigeon, it’s proper theatre season!

The ring-pigeon raises itself higher and spreads its wings a little, preventing the other visitor from eating. When the magpie bends down low and starts to sneak a bite, which makes me laugh, the ring-pigeon moves forward, flapping its wings. Whoosh, away goes the magpie. Only the large crow is no game for that pigeon.

I need to change my feeding method and for a while I’ve stopped placing food on the table, thinking of new ideas. Maybe I’ll hang a caged birdfeeder nearby the table, for small birds, and place leftover grains and bread on the bird feed table.

I bring bread, cut in small pieces to it and quickly the large crow appears with one of its offspring rascals. That kid pretends it needs to be served by its parent by opening its beak, screeching. The parent ignores the begging and tries to collect as many pieces of bread in its beak, flying off to the nest, where smaller fledgelings are waiting, hungry. The young crow starts feeding, no problem. It needs to grow into the habit of growing up on its own. Young crows are fierce, calling for food loud. They grow to large sizes too, I’ve noticed.

Never before have I seen those large black crows close by in my garden, since I’ve placed that bird feed table on the dead trunk of my plum tree, now surrounded by willows, a large 3-meter high bamboo bush and white “lilac” trees that have grown much in the years I was away. There are lovely hiding places for birds now. Singing feeding, or grooming.

Ah, there’s a large parent-crow sitting on the bird feed table, a little miserable-looking in the rain, collecting at least 5 pieces of bread in its enormous beak, flying off now. Every 5 minutes or so, a curtain of rain is falling, while the clouds pass by quickly, giving the sun a chance to peep through them and change the world.

When I didn’t have my garden, I would be less happy with city-life. Small size, big size, it doesn’t matter so much, as long as the place is pristine, pure and not cultivated with artificial substances and weed-killers. To me, playing and working in nature means simply a balance between what nature shows up with and what my hands manage to beautify and preserve, taking care of it so that each year there’s more of the same and new flowers from seeds too. With bees visiting.

I’m so pleased with a toad castle in my garden! All the rubble and stones that were left by the builders, in the soil of my garden, was made into a small hill in a hole I had dug, covered up by the soil. Through the years, lots of toads have found their shelter and hibernating spots. When I rummage in my garden and lift off patches of moss, often there’s a small toad underneath, looking up with its eye showing that beautiful golden speck. (In the page with my 13 stories of The Earth, the Moon and the Sun, you’ll find a story about a toad I found and helped).

Connecting with nature is like entering a world that was always there, but now I’ve found the entrance to it. Similar to the entrance of the “Secret Garden” in the famous book by Burnett. My garden is a blessing, while I live on the edge of the city. The buzz of city life is less welcome to me, but alas. It’s only for a year or so, that I will be in my country of birth if all goes well.

There are quiet places in nature, with fields of farms and large stretches of peat, showing an enormous variety of plants, flowers and birdlife. Swans, ducks, herons, geese, storks, coots, and of course, frogs, salamanders and fish in the ditches surrounding these acres of wetland.

(click on the pictures for captions)

A small sparrow is picking the last grains from the bird feed table. It spreads its wings a little in the sun, warming up and resting for a while. Lovely.

The blackbirds don’t visit it, they pick what they need from the moss and plants on the ground, looking for worms I believe. They’ve made a nest in the tree of my neighbour, picking lots of moss in my garden. It’s why I leave patches of it unchanged. The Alchemilla is in flower and the meadowsweet is beginning to show its fairy blossom unfolding. The light of day reminds me of my Ireland holiday of many years ago, 1989. The quick change of light, from cloudy to blue sky with the sun rays peeping through, cheering up the place and face of those watching nature’s bounty.

For now, July 6th, my journal ends here. I promise it will be continued and I’ll tell you about the new bird feeding strategy I shall have figured out. Thank you for visiting, blessed be, Marian.


Impressions of my neighbourhood springtime 2020

Choosing this video from YouTube, I do hope it’s working without asking permission to use this beautiful Kalimba music.


Thank you for visiting! Blessed be, Marian.


?The Climate Change Agenda, how so?

Are we living in a make-belief existential crisis?




History in a broad sense, based on what is believed to have happened, published in books, isn’t the victorious party the one who lives, writing its story? seems to be in need of a reset in many parts. Our own personal belief system seems to be in turmoil and our experience of time is changing fast in sync with the increase of the number of daily impressions and digital gadgets providing them, in what I tend to call The Wishing Well of Wonders.

Climate Change is now our United Hive Mind World Religion it seems. During the discussion of Agenda 21, a report published by the environment department of the United Nations (the report is present online) the concept of Climate Change (formerly called Global Warming) is presented as alarm bells sounding loud in order to wake us up from reality and jump right into a fairy tale. Or should I say… lullaby?

It’s my opinion, that any message colored by doom and gloom, causing children to grow up in alarm and anxiety, which isn’t my favorite cup of tea, carries a hidden agenda in it. I’m a disbeliever of such a message and The Climate Change Agenda is full of fear triggering notions. My choice is to practically work and create a reality in sync with how I and planet Earth, with her inhabitants evolve, flowering and reaching graduation day.

As I perceive the present time, the more humanity wakes up to the truth, the more attempts are made to distract us from that truth and from our sovereignty and freedom of expression. I grew up in a strict Calvinistic Church Institute and I’ve witnessed how members of church lived, believing they were born sinners, judged by “our father in heaven”.

The false shine of devotion, keeping up appearances, while girl-teenagers got pregnant due to the absence of information (the subject of sex was taboo) or the boy-teenagers who wanted to put an end to their lives, with a father who tried to force-feed them with the fear of God, by means of physical violence. Dogma is like concrete around the heart.

As far as I’ve studied Agenda 21 and Climate Change reports (both are hand in glove) this scene on the global stage, presented to us, is an orchestrated one. It’s developed in sync with the creation of the New Age philosophy. See for yourself, if you will. It’s based on the research done by Eric Karlstrom:

Karlstrom: New World Religion – I

The truth in science is equal to a deal made with a checkbook in hand, or methods of discipline that involves sabotage, ridicule and forced resignment. Many scientists chose to put an end to their lives, and doctors who choose to go their own path find themselves at the end of their lives due to targeting.

The reality is if you take smart people and teach them the wrong thing they become very good at doing the wrong thing. 

In a deeper delving into Agenda 21, which is a report published by the United Nations (it’s a free PDF download online), you and I can find the mechanism that is hidden in this report. A mechanism that creates an imprint in our minds that forces us to leave our sense of reality and real-life experiences. Our physical presence in the present moment is our compass and vehicle on our life’s journey, I believe. We only act effectively when in the present. Being present is equal to knowing oneself, as I perceive it. For how can we make a genuine decision, based on understanding, when we aren’t aware of motive, purpose and drive? Within ourselves and in those around us at the negotiation table?

Isn’t life itself more miraculous at times than virtual realities? A footpath near Manaton in Devon, with a tree that looks like something out of Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Brian Fraud, the designer of elves and goblins, in drawings, would be delighted bumping into this tree, don’t you think?

The deception in our present time, with the Climate Change topic as an instrument of measurement: you either are protected by the safety in numbers, as a loyal servant, or you are ostracized as a denier of facts that are said to stare us in our face. According to the devotees, while chanting slogans, growing anxious due to fear of one day being extinct. To me, it appears to be a cleverly designed make-belief existential crisis for all mankind and the fuel for that machinery is fear.

We seem to be held in that mode, with the purpose to keep us in the waiting room, until our Savior arrives and we’re all happy. My foot! That’s a game as ancient as the first human society on planet Earth living with a religious paradigm similar to a waiting room with sinners, hoping to enter Heaven 1 day, when the Savior arrives. We need to outgrow childhood collectively and be autonomous, outgrow lethargy and start telling ourselves that we can change our reality. You see? It’s in our consciousness that we find solace, our choice to change our attitude when it doesn’t serve us. A revival of creativity, as creators.

Be aware please, that a hive mind creation by bringing people into unison by means of a warning of danger and some form of protocol, just like the 10 commandments, usually twisted to each of our personal tastes in daily life affairs, causes its members to live in fear of being sinners, living in fear for not deserving to be loved. When we live in constant fear for doing the wrong thing and expect that a higher force will save us, our redeemer in his own heaven, where can we find him?  What if it’s the Wizard of Oz? Heavily veiled?

Can you see how subtle the deception is in such a scenario? Instead of living with an idea that it’s about “Us against them” it has now become “Us against us”, within many Climate Change communications. The state of alarm is present where the original idea of the need to be alarmed is planted in us and not originating from within, how it should be. When we rely on higher authorities, who are supposed to be capable of truthfulness and instinctively choose to follow the call of Climate Change sirens as if they’re sounding for our own good.

Aren’t we accused of exhaling carbon dioxide? Aren’t we held accountable for the changes in weather and damage to the environment? Aren’t children at school and in youth clubs, made anxious about their future? If ever there’s one? To me, it’s a cleverly designed program that holds us in fear and as I perceive it, it’s a charade, a deception with yet more triggers to come. When will we see the enormous distraction from what truly matters?

“A nation can survive its fools and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and he carries his banners openly. But the traitor moves among those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not traitor, he speaks in the accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their garments, and he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of a city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to be feared.” – Cicero, 42 B.C.


In whose name are children responsible or to be held responsible for the condition our planet is in right now? Think about it, it doesn’t make sense. Children haven’t had anything to do with our present condition, the environmental issues. They’ve arrived a couple of years ago.

We’re not supposed to live in anxiety and stress, on the lookout for any sign of doing something wrong, or others doing something wrong. Life isn’t meant to see you and me in fear and anxiety, it’s weakening our confidence and our immune system. Look deeper, what’s really at stake here?

Children are the creators of our future world and they’re the ones who must confront us with our shortsightedness due to our deeply ingrained beliefs and ways of doing things.  The adage “We’ve always done it this way and you must obey to that rule” is supposed to be kicked at and thoroughly shaken, so that change and new ways of looking at things are given a chance.  The prevailing goal of seeing wealth grow into more wealth and poverty into more of our world’s societies, as a means to divide and conquer, the old old game of psychological warfare: first damage the goods and than save the day by offering a solution. 

At some point, this house of cards is falling, the bubble will burst. It can’t be otherwise, for life on planet Earth is able to evolve in sync with the flowering of our consciousness. We are free to choose the whithering of it when we allow it within as well.  Personally and collectively.

Planet Earth will and does support us as much as she can and she will try to take us on a ride, which will lead to enormous changes, if we will, a wake-up call to our true essence, our core being. If we choose to go against the laws of nature, we might perish on this planet

Not in the way as it is shown to us in a religious institute that makes use of methods to keep our conscience on all-time alert, in fear of punishment.

Let’s wait and see, when the newness of the Climate Change hype wears off when the pressure, initially felt, begins to turn into boredom, due to being fed up with it. There’s no payoff, see? It’s no fun to have to live with doubt, insecurity, and instability while standing in the line of arrows with your name on it.

Let’s wait and see how many of those, who are persuaded to live under this Climate Change pressure, controlled by peers, with Climate Change programs presented on primary schools, will continue to feel nurtured, taking initiatives that have an impact that makes sense. Makes happy. Creative solutions are usually not found in an atmosphere of fear and anxiety. Impulsive actions are more likely to happen, isn’t it?

Let’s wait until those, living under this pressure, stop walking their talk. When the thrill of it all wears off. When dog-owners seem to justify leaving the pooh of their dog in a pooh-bag, where it was planted on the road and when fanatic recyclers throw half of their dinner in the bin each day, or order products online, with numerous delivery vans crossing the country, exhaling Co2 and packaging that takes half the size of the package, which I’ve witnessed, the British brains are truly in need of fresh air and sobriety.

Autumn 2017 (8)
Autumn walk

Wasn’t it a sign of waking up, from lethargy and staleness, when the sixties arrived and many moves were made to topple the establishment? I bought my first single “We all live in a yellow submarine” a Beatles’ song and Frank Zappa was on television with his weird fantasy world of music, influenced it seemed by substances that began to spread all over the Western world. Bob Dylan arrived on stage with his prophetic songs and his rather unsweet penetrating voice.

I do remember David Bowie’s Space Oddity fondly. The spotlight of that rebellion was directed at authorities and systems of power, the war in Vietnam for example, triggered in order to commence. We’ve received the true facts of that war-strategy, just like the truth about the war in Iraq, proof of the absence of weapons of mass destruction.

Alas, the spark of that purifying flame was put out by the introduction of LSD, to the Vietnam war soldiers and to the American people, to the entertainment industry, to people like Aldous Huxley and Terence McKenna. Eastern philosophy became popular, many an adventurer traveled to India, Tibet, South America. The first cults began to appear in the West. And many a youth died on faraway beaches, paradises of addicts. Ibiza, Goa, Koh Samui, to name a few. Those decennia seem so long ago.

J.F. Kennedy's words

Are we, in a stealthy manner, coaxed to enter an existential crisis? The spotlight of the Climate Change Agenda is directed at….. YOU! This time. Think about it, ponder the possibility that we’re fooled with eyes wide shut, by a distraction of enormous proportions.

Life doesn’t serve an agenda that is based on being against….. we thrive by being in favor of…. working towards the creation of what serves us all and seeing the result of our work. It’s what secures a sense of belonging, a sense of being part of a greater “something”

To know and feel it in the company of others who work with you and to bring about what’s intended, within the boundaries of “living with enough” and in gratitude for being alive as a human being, using our experiences as teachers. To me, freedom of choice is fueled by creativity in the absence of judgment and comparing,

Ask yourself “Who’s really served by the Climate Change Agenda?” There’s no doubt about it, that change is happening, that the Sun is changing as well. That species go extinct and that much environmental damage occurs. Our entire Solar System is in change, look into NASA’s image archives, it’s all published.

But….. all these changes, it’s not our fault, as it’s suggested in The Climate Change Agenda. Living with guilt is the killer of creativity and initiative, preparing us for a life that isn’t lived with our capacities awakened, on the contrary. And, to me, that’s done on purpose.

We’re not meant to live with the slogan “it’s us against us” being our own enemy, feeling sinful about the size of our carbon footprint and exhaling CO2. Love and compassion are the bridges built between the mind and the heart, which allows inspiration, courage, discernment, sovereignty,  and integrity to be present in our practical work, our creative expressions on all levels, in our collective human society.

A thorough researcher has done a tremendous piece of homework, delving deeper into who’s the Wizard of Oz, conducting The Climate Change Agenda and ringing the alarm bells that are present in the halls of AI and his minions. This Climate Change researcher’s name is Eric Karlstrom’. This is his website:

Springtime shoots unfolding



My life in Britain in the year 2019

xMarian 02-2020 - Edited


We’ve arrived on July 17th, 2019! Really?? What happened? Gosh, time flies isn’t it? These last months, while warm days lasted one after the other for a long time, I’ve worked much in the garden, straightened the hedge, sorted out the raspberries and blackcurrants. Made jam, burned bonfires and tried to grow some vegetables. Tried, yes. The slugs were eating faster than the seedlings managed to grow, I’ve got to arrange a better spot. First time growing vegetables in a garden behind my home!

Took out lots of deadwood and branches in the rose garden, cleared the paths and the terrace too.  Weaving a willow gate in the opening of the hedge that’s supposed to be the boundary of my and my neighbors garden. How important that boundary is, shows in the rumors I hear about disputes rising to unbelievable levels, with a lifelong falling out with each other’s neighbor, or physical – and other forms of violence as a result.

The compost heap with grass cuttings is the home of a grass snake and a regular visitor makes itself known by lots of comments, even before it shows itself. It’s a male cat and I call him Mont Blanc. He’s in the pictures below.

Lichen on a stonewall

How a tree can grow

The magic of an old footpath

The smallholding where I work

Always changing.. sea and sky

Rocks and sea






A typical sight in a town built on hills


Bees are buzzing all around

Marigold and Borage

Mont Blanc the garden visitor


Bluebells and a reddish flower in springtime


To be continued……

Imagine…. this…. or the mimicry of dominance

Once upon a time there were those who chose to lead and those who chose to follow. Those that followed began to slowly forget to think for themselves and in that way they gave their power away to those who chose to lead.

How can we think for ourselves, without the freedom of expression and the experience of learning from our mistakes, the confidence of seeing how our plans are put into action successfully, or ending up as beneficial after making mistakes and choosing adjustments?

Those who chose to lead, noticed that those who followed began to stop thinking for themselves and so… those who felt flattered by the idea of being leaders, felt inclined to think for the followers, more and more.

And this is how it happened that those who were leading, grew accustomed to their role of being in charge, by seeing the effect of control they had over others. That’s also how religion turned into man made institutes warning the “sinners” to repent, declaring that human beings are born as sinners. With a saviour ready to step in. “Repent oh children…..or else!”

We all say that power corrupts, it’s a truth as ancient as planet Earth. But do we take notice of how that works out in our daily reality? I wonder how we grow accustomed to the blind spots in our life. The place where sudden change reveals them, triggers them into our awareness.

The effect and result of giving away our power, is that we begin to stop thinking for ourselves and lose the ability to self-reflect and pay attention to our inner life, the stirrings of our inner shadow and the cover up of our light, by that same ignorance.

We’re gradually weaned off of our sovereignty and that’s exactly what’s intended too, so that those who are leading will find their role secured and the addiction to power as well, although it’s experienced as a right and privilege, as long as conscience is in a state of deep-freeze in absence of empathy. Power corrupts and dumbs down from within as well.

Imagine… this:

The gradual change in our education system has led to a programming of students, trained to live up to collecting material gain, a consumptive lifestyle and an achievement of results born in fierce competition, a picking order as well.

By many people, all circumstances are projected externally, it’s literally about the tricks of the trade, the rattling of sabres in power-games, with a conviction that all misery is caused by external forces and that someone deserves punishment.

Without the presence of an inner stance, obtained by a learning curve and experiences that are based on proper education, learning about ethics, moral standards, freedom of choice, a freedom to try things out and experience how trial and error show up, how it feels like and what it is that can be learned from it, changed for the better or brought to a stop, when it’s evident that a new choice needs to be made. A fresh start so to speak, in order to reach an end result that is envisioned, on one’s own or in a group. A change of plan often requires courage, vulnerability. Saying “I’m puzzled”

Which is fully outside the agenda of taking linear steps toward an end-result: “First do this, than do that and this is the end-result” like a formulae applied in the practice of chemistry in a lab. That rational and linear approach prevents a learning curve that includes emotions and feelings, trial and error. Contrary to the laws of nature. It also prevents the development of emotional maturity, the ability to practice self-reflection and contemplation, sorting out one’s priorities from within.

Nowadays, it’s as if school children and students are baked like donuts, all similar in size and taste, rolling out of school and university, one size fits all and don’t expect to think for yourself, don’t try to bring up an original thought or inquiry.

Just be the donut that is right on the right spot and don’t try to turn into a tea-cake! Trying to be who you’re not, that’s what it means to follow a leader blindly, isn’t it? Like a life in a hive, or like cyborgs. It’s in politics and employment, in the army and in professional sport, in high levels of the entertainment industry, the exploitation of Hollywood celebrities.

Whored out and thrown away like empty shells. Where large amounts of money are involved and practices that are kept highly secret. In the dark. The object is the means to financial success and when that object is a human being, its value as a human being is possibly number 10 on the list. Or entirely absent. When the toy is broken, it gets destroyed, done away with.

Imagine… this:

That those who lead, create a continuous stream of issues that distract human beings from looking within. By the growth of consumerism, be it food, drink, drugs, television entertainment, social media, short term satisfaction, creating a want of more of the same and more varieties of the same. Instantly and immediate.

Those that follow blindly behave like cattle that needs to be fed hay every day. Those that don’t follow blindly and begin to ask questions, which is the natural state of children usually, are told how to think, how to feel and how to behave, with a long list of taboos:

1.Don’t mention ghosts or out of body experiences or intuitive knowing.

2. Don’t mention death, illness, discomfort, sadness and depression,     risking exclusion from the circle of peers, the pretenders who are keeping up appearances, following the program of those that lead.

3. Don’t try to do things different, for it doesn’t pay well and it injures your     reputation of being a loyal follower, with a hive mind, fitting in and welcomed by those who only “get” you when you’re one of them.

4. Don’t try to improve yourself or outgrow the circle where you’re part of, either in a family you grow up with or as member of a team at work.

5. ………fill in this point for yourself, using your own imagination please.

The one thing that shows up as example of control and a method to prevent initiative in followers, the freedom to think for oneself, is the creation of external forces, sensations and imprints, keeping the attention of those who follow.

All eyes are fixed on…. a constant flow of distraction, away from awareness of an inner world and the effect of external impact on it, losing the choice to shape that world, educate and develop that world from within. Creation.

                                              Showing your true colours

Imagine… this:

How the story of climate change, formerly called “global warming” is created with the intention to distract our attention from our inner environment, our loyalty to independent thinking and discernment, our inhibition of feelings, fearful attention and caution not to be guilty of not living up to expectations of peers, who control our use of plastic and our breathing out of CO2, causing damage to the environment we live in.

It’s total nonsense, poppycock. It’s clever disguised mind-control using sentiments to lure people into submission, following a program that serves only corporations’ expansion so that abuse of planet Earth’s resources continues.

If we don’t wake up, with awareness of our purpose, our motives and drives, we’re likely trampling along like elephants in a Chinese shop. Through city-roads with billboards showing the instructions for the day’s work and the desired results. Animal farm, written by Aldus Huxley.

We’re told that by breathing out carbon dioxide we’re causing damage to our environment, so that we’re the cause of climate change and that we’re held responsible for change, living in fear for losing our footing during an increase of earthquakes and solar events growing increasingly intense due to a change in Earth’s atmosphere and the nature of radiation directed to planet Earth.

We’re often so in denial of our own nature, ignoring planet Earth’s beautiful nature and its nurturing on all levels, physically and spiritually, that we’re collectively plundering  Earth’s resources, causing havoc to large parts of Earth’s landscape and habitats, our own living environment, with a view that is utterly shortsighted, selfish and immature. But hey, look a bit deeper. Think for a moment. Who’s really exploiting? Who’s interested in Earth’s resources? Who’s taking the profit? You? Who’s allowing this to happen?

Where on planet Earth is austerity not on the political agenda, creating an almost permanent survival mode? Does your government represent your interests and values? Is co-operation present in politics and communities aiming for the greater good? Isn’t it time that we begin to think for ourselves and ask ourselves if we’re willing to accept that corporations rule our world and rule politicians and scientists, determining our level of public media, school-education, healthcare and personal well-being?

Where are our own resources, our skills and natural talents, expressed in freedom? Are we harvested like wheat on the fields, first sprayed with Round Up, so that preservation secures the mining of our talents and skills, our gullibility toward higher powers where those are present who are supposed to know better, how to serve humanity, but who are utterly caught in the claws of abomination and corruption?

Here’s what I mean by the mimicry of dominance. By telling us that we’re the ones who are responsible and therefore should be held accountable…. for ruining Earth’s environment, made guilty for the fact that we’re breathing out? Please find the fairy tale in what we’re being told and made to believe. Check out this series of videos:

Please dare to step out of line and show non-violent civil disobedience, while informing yourself and ponder the content of this site

Start looking at the programs that hold us captive, realising that the way climate change is presented to us is partly also a program, an orchestration of keeping us within the shackles of dependency and slavery, in fear of doing harm and being sinful.

Believing in the benefit of following leaders who only appear to be genuine and well meaning, blaming the decline of Earth’s health on us, bleating followers of what’s told to us, so that we grow dependent on those who seemingly “know better” but who only pretend to know best what’s good for us.

Who are they, who are in truth trying to make us followers, to keep us from leading ourselves, to keep us from being a light unto ourselves, coaxing us into submission to their program, their agenda 21 or any number of agendas, while pretending that it’s normal that we live in a state of guilt, as born criminals? Sinners by nature?

Does that ring a bell, does the mimicry of dominance remind you of the Wizard of Oz? Creating mesmerising holograms and visual effects behind his curtains? Will we be fooled by a hologram displaying an alien attack and make all men run to the battlefield? Please, start thinking for yourself, find out what’s behind the veils that keeps us blindfolded and shackled. Don’t forget to notice the effects of a rectangular blue screen.


How do you want to see your kids growing up?

I believe that when our inner environment is clear and vibrant, shaped to our liking in sync with self-respect and autonomous, that this is the foundation and soil on which we’re able to welcome truth as a friend and to start building changes for the better and grow up in our society in a healthy prosperous way, organising our lives without paying respect to the Wizards of Oz, who desperately try to remain present in our lives, knowing that they’re on the losing side. Life is taking measures to end injustice, abuse of power. True and lasting change happens when you know how to save yourself from yourself. Discerning the dictation of the mind and the voice of our soul hidden behind it?

I believe that when our internal environment is sorted, our shadow acknowledged and embraced in the presence of affinity for ourselves in our hearts, our light uncovered by removing the raggedy shadows in that way, that our planetary environment will begin to reflect human collective consciousness that is shaped by our individual inner stance.

We will experience again that we are planet Earth and she is us as well. She’s the nurturing force bringing our physical bodies into existence, also our ancestors, offering us firm ground to stand on, with the individual lessons in need to be learned.

We will restore, we will have restored our power to be the change we want to see in our world. In the company of wisdom, so that what’s achieved is realistic. That will bring us to actions that include creativity and innovation, regeneration of our human nature and the confidence by experience, that we can bring change when we feel the urge in our toes. Physical and spiritual exercise is the best remedy to prevent depression and avoid identification with feelings of despair, presented by the windmills of our mind.

With the freedom of expression that allows us to choose each moment anew. That’s how the power behind creation loves to see us, I believe, we ourselves as the creators of our reality, bringing power-games to an end and a new beginning of living in harmony. A life in freedom of expression, authentic and purposeful, however simple in structure, that’s what love is about too. This I believe.



Freedom of choice and expression

Stories of the moon, earth and sun illustrations Marian 1999 (11)
Transformation is in the eye of the beholder

One of the great mysteries I found in my life, which holds much humour too, is the discovery that before I’m able to love unconditionally, I need to move through my own shadows in a way that I acknowledge the truth of where I find myself in, the truth of it, wholeheartedly. And in my case I had to welcome vulnerability too, for my role as a teenager was to be the strong oldest daughter in a strict Calvinistic minister’s family of 11. Feeling vulnerable opened the door to connecting with those around me as a human being on a horizontal plane, a welcome equaliser that began to restore my peace of mind magically.

Only when I am fully present in where I am, I’m able to leave the place where I am present and move on, entering a new place (metaphorically speaking). In other words, when I’m in resentment, I need to accept that truth, that state of being and all that it holds in its folds. Sort of chew on it and digest it, even appreciate it as an attachment, a creation of myself, that takes time to let go. All this, but not by thinking too much, more like feeling my way through it in the daily practice of life in all sorts of conditions and circumstances.

That’s what is, to me, also freedom of expression, see what I mean? It isn’t always about joy, laughter and jubilant hallelujah and hunky dory, it’s also about tears welcoming truth as a friend in the exploring of my shadows and seeing them for what they are, how they’ve manifested themselves. I believe we’re offered support when we dare to ask.

Forgiveness toward the shadow parts of me is the portal to the affinity within my  heart for myself. Which is equal to being in trust and at peace with what is, allowing my roots to grow and find nutrition in that quality of soil, the compost containing all that I’ve experienced, past and present.

Fallen leaves turning all shades of pink, brown and still a bit of green, the cycle of a tree’s life, nutrition for next spring’s budding of new leaves

From that foundation, unconditional love for another living being is possible, I believe. Plus a strong sense of choice, the freedom to choose a new decision, a new point of view, a new creation in essence. Emotions are also creations of the mind that evokes them by thinking. There’s much routine-like motion in that realm and to me, although I am a creature of habit in certain ways, being stuck in that sort of routine is the death of inspiration and the birth of boredom and depression.

As I’m experiencing, exploring these realms of my consciousness is a natural process, a continuing unfolding that can’t be controlled by my thinking mind in survival mode.        I prefer to see my whole being, blood, sweat and tears plus laughter, as the props on the stage of (my) life. All that is suppressed in the game of blame, guilt and shame (by myself) forms the shackles that hold my freedom of expression imprisoned.

To me, feeling abandoned is often the abandonment of oneself, deep down in the crevices of the unconscious, where a blindfold ensures living one’s life in a lie building sandcastles, chasing rainbows. That’s appropriate in fairy tales and imagination is a great tool, essential for manifestation of dreams coming true. Due to the nature of this predicament, no other person can save another or offer solutions to another person, in that realm. The changer and the changed are both the same person, if you get my drift.

It seems that one has no choice other than to be the soil, the seed, the growth, the water, the gardener and the fruit, all in one go, in order to learn and move in love and life, fulfilling one’s dream, one’s purpose in life, if you will. The company of others who are in the same boat with me, but rowing with their own peddles on life’s ocean, is a support and inspiration to freely shine my sparkle and share it with kindred spirits who shine theirs. Working together in that way, creating a life worth living, I’m sure it can be done.

I’m working on it right now, though it’s not in blood, sweat and tears anymore. To me, the magic of life right now is in the being and not in the doing. A doing that is a forceful pushing and toiling, a reaching of material gain in competition with others, geared like in the survival of the fittest. To me, that is coming to an end, just like this journal of mine, today the 28th of July 2018.

Blessed be, Marian.

Change is in the air, springtime 2018!

Stories of the moon, earth and sun illustrations Marian 1999 (6)

Febr. 14 2018 Change is “on air” is it not?

Make it your choice to live through the changes and move with them, like the practice of tai chi, using the energy to your advantage without a need to win or lose and take practical, emotional and mental steps. Exercises for strength, similar to condition-training for the body. Healthy self-discipline stems from honoring one’s well-being and not a form of punishment, a judgmental attitude toward one’s attitude and behavior.  Compassion and creativity are the fertilizers for growing on all levels, harvesting beautiful fruit.

Fruity bike

Once a choice is made, by yourself, coming back to it is key, contemplating the daily life reality in sync with that choice, or if there’s a need for adjustment or a new choice. The good thing about choices is that each moment a new choice can be made when the old one doesn’t work. It’s a great way of knowing oneself, for motive and drive reveal themselves in that contemplation, as I experience in my own life.

It’s far easier to be responsible for yourself when you make everything you do a choice. Yours. You will be surprised how much change for the better shows up in your life, that way. That’s what I call an inner pole-shift. From submission to self-empowerment in manifestation. We will all look in wonder at what’s ahead of us when we accept life as a gift and celebration. For what we visualize and envision will show up as our reality, in the company of our attention. Be it for better or for worse.               

Choose for yourself, don’t you think? Someone else can’t do it for you. Unless you lose your sovereignty. Examples of that state of being are numerous in our present time. We need to wean ourselves off that old paradigm of ruling power and money, the greediness in consumer-lifestyle. There’s much more to life than what meets the eye. Planet Earth has moved into another realm already, happy to see us following her in her wise moves. Changes may cause anxiety, but let it not determine your choice. No acting on impulse.

In the context of a transition to a new reality, a new way of living if you will, the freedom of choice and respect for the free will is possible when moral standards and ethics are serving life and well-being of all. FREE will is what one could take literally as FREEDOM of expression and not a boundless selfish lifestyle. As I perceive it, the latter is an expression of imprisonment by one’s own addiction or system that overrules one’s individual sovereignty.


Hating the devil is serving the devil, for hatred feeds on hatred. It knows no other way. When God and the Devil are viewed as beings separate from us, human beings, we’re using them as a projection screen and blame them for all the suffering in our lives. That’s the essence of giving your power away and it’s a mind-program created by religious church institutes of all shades between black and white, enforcing submission to God or the Devil.

For some people, the roles of God and Devil have switched and not always intentionally. Many lives are lived in self-hatred due to misunderstanding, confusion, fatigue, and loneliness. That’s not our fate or destiny and certainly, nothing of the future is written in stone. No authority outside of us can and has the right to prescribe the path to our destiny, for we’re meant to choose that from within as human beings, each in its unique expression, authentic.

Dragon-fish fire-water element

Acknowledging the godlike and devilish sides within ourselves creates a rift through that mind-programming and in that process we arrive at the door of choice. In freedom, after experiencing a long long time living in duality consciousness, labeling. Separation. It’s this… or that. What if it’s both? When we can finally stand it to acknowledge both sides of one hand, we fall through the bottom, witnessing the illusion of it all.

Inclusiveness as respect for all expressions of life and compassion isn’t the same as condoning actions and results of free will expressions. Nor is it helpful to judge oneself for the wrongdoing in our lives. Once we’ve found the ability to observe ourselves and come to know ourselves more and once we’ve welcomed truth as a friend, in our lives, we’re re-educating ourselves and move toward the graduation of humanity, removing the veil. Those qualities are an important part of finding discernment, realizing love.


And now, February 7th 2020, springtime is near, again. The following text is from the book “Living on Exmoor” by Hope L.Bourne. For almost 60 years she lived in her home on the moors and she became one with them, observing the beauty of Exmoor with a strong heart and presence of observation. She passed on to greener pastures in 2010.

“Over the hills and down the valleys and into the fields the west wind blows the smell of the moors, the smell of spring. It is the scent of the bogs and the sea, the scent of grass from under the snow, the scent of earth in the sun, the smell of life itself. It is a smell to make an old man young and quicken the blood in the heart. It is a thing to make one shout with the joy of space and the year stretched out before one.

All nature seems to wake; earth and sky call to each other. the green fields slope to the morning sun, green again from under their covering of snow, grassy faces turned to the light of spring. The tall hedges that gird them about reach shining branches to the clear bright sky, full of the twittering of many birds, and over the fields the gulls from the sea wheel and soar like pieces of paper in the wind.

Through the silver-gold shafts of the saplings, the distant hills lie white-capped in the brittle blue of the west. The frost of dawn is withered away with the light, and the sun is warm on the grass and one’s face, and the snow-hills beckon into space, calling one to some fabulous land beyond the gates of time.

How different, how changed is the scene. Three mornings ago the blizzard struck with driving snow on a bitter wind straight from the eye of the north. I remember the sheep all crowded tight in under the hedges, so hard to find, and the wind a howling gale blowing the snow flat out like smoke from a great white fire, and streaming clouds of white pouring from every gateway, blinding one and biting the face into numbness.

I remember the drifts, and every twig and stem, where not torn by the wind, encrusted with snow many times its own girth, and the horizon, where glimpsed through the snow, showing blue-black like a pall pressed down.

Now the sun shines again on the grass, the smell of spring is over the earth – that sweet smell that comes only when the late snow is withering away before the sou’ west wind – and the snow lies now only in a few deep drifts by the gateways and on the heights of the moor. As I turn and walk by the hedge other scents catch at me like an undertone – frosted ivy touched by the sun, moss, new timber set across a gap, fir trees somewhere out of sight, wisps of hay left by the sheep, the first opening flowers of the gorse.

How potent is the sense of smell, how emotionally powerful. It can move one almost with the force of music. It can excite and delight, it can open doors in the memory closed against all other means, it can create an awareness of things around one like a revelation, or it can lift the mind into realms beyond description. It can also bring apprehension and warning and fear, and the perception of hostile forces.

Yet how few people seem to retain a true sense of smell-how few can smell a fir plantation in the sun a mile away or catch the scent of standing corn or tell what animals have been grazing a certain patch of ground or know whether the grass they tread is old pasture or a new-sown ley.”

Springtime shoots

Blessed be…

Women who run with wolves…. the wildish nature

Woman with wolf           Marian

June 18 2021 Here’s my newest video with a recording from Clarissa’s book:

The Ugly Duckling – what’s coming out of the egg? People in exile, of all ages. – YouTube

Page 360 Women who run with wolves by Clarissa P. Estes.

“So what is the point of this reclamation and focus, this calling back of what has been lost, this running with the wolves? It is to go for the jugular, to get right down to the seed and to the bones of everything and anything in your life, because that’s where your pleasure is, that’s where your joy is, that’s where a woman’s Eden lies, that place where there is time and freedom to be, wander, wonder, write, sing, create, and not be afraid.

When wolves perceive pleasure or danger, they at first become utterly still. They become like statues, utterly focused so they can see, so they can hear, so they can sense what is there, sense what is there in its most elemental form.

This is what the wildish nature offers us: the ability to see what is before us through focusing through stopping and looking and smelling and listening and feeling and tasting. Focusing is the use of all of our senses, including intuition.

It is into this world that women come, in order to claim their own voices, their own values, their imaginations, their clairvoyance, their clear seeing, their stories, and the ancient memories of women. And these are the work of focus and creation.

If you’ve lost focus, just sit down and be still. Take the idea and rock it to and fro, keep some of it and throw some of it away and it will renew itself. You need do no more”

Merlin initiation
The great Merlin

Triskelion van Jen Delyth

De snijtafel – ‘Hou me vast’ — MICHIEL LIEUWMA

Ha! Geweldig, even terug in Holland. Leuk om weer terug te zijn bij dit super duo….

Ik kom niet meer bij! Applaus… applause…  Encore… encore…


via De snijtafel – ‘Hou me vast’ — MICHIEL LIEUWMA

Inspirations of all sorts

Poems ** Quotes ** Illustrated text ** Lyrics of songs **

Quote by me, Marian, after travelling some time in the UK:

“To be a stranger in a strange land is showing me the mechanism of (my) attachment to the collective consciousness and how it’s expressed in daily life, at home, on the work-floor and in public spaces”.

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds,
or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved”


Quotes by Henry David Thoreau, who wrote the book Walden:

“We need the tonic of wildness…At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things, we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of nature.”


”I do not propose to write an ode to dejection, but to brag as lustily as chanticleer in the morning, standing on his roost, if only to wake my neighbours up.”


Poem by Henry David Thoreau                                                                            

“Whate’er we leave to God, God does,
And blesses us;
The work we choose should be our own,
God leaves alone.

If with light head erect I sing,
Though all the Muses lend their force,
From my poor love of anything,
The verse is weak and shallow as its source.

But if with bended neck I grope
Listening behind me for my wit,
With faith superior to hope,
More anxious to keep back than forward it;

Making my soul accomplice there
Unto the flame my heart hath lit,
Then will the verse forever wear–
Time cannot bend the line which God hath writ.

Always the general show of things
Floats in review before my mind,
And such true love and reverence brings,
That sometimes I forget that I am blind.

But now there comes unsought, unseen,
Some clear divine electuary,
And I, who had but sensual been,
Grow sensible, and as God is, am wary.

I hearing get, who had but ears,
And sight, who had but eyes before,
I moments live, who lived but years,
And truth discern, who knew but learning’s lore.

I hear beyond the range of sound,
I see beyond the range of sight,
New earths and skies and seas around,
And in my day the sun doth pale his light.

A clear and ancient harmony
Pierces my soul through all its din,
As through its utmost melody–
Farther behind than they, farther within.

More swift its bolt than lightning is,
Its voice than thunder is more loud,
It doth expand my privacies
To all, and leave me single in the crowd.

It speaks with such authority,
With so serene and lofty tone,
That idle Time runs gadding by,
And leaves me with Eternity alone.

Now chiefly is my natal hour,
And only now my prime of life;
Of manhood’s strength it is the flower,
‘Tis peace’s end and war’s beginning strife.

It comes in summer’s broadest noon,
By a grey wall or some chance place,
Unseasoning Time, insulting June,
And vexing day with its presuming face.

Such fragrance round my couch it makes,
More rich than are Arabian drugs,
That my soul scents its life and wakes
The body up beneath its perfumed rugs.

Such is the Muse, the heavenly maid,
The star that guides our mortal course,
Which shows where life’s true kernel’s laid,
Its wheat’s fine flour, and its undying force.

She with one breath attunes the spheres,
And also my poor human heart,
With one impulse propels the years
Around, and gives my throbbing pulse its start.

I will not doubt for evermore,
Nor falter from a steadfast faith,
For thought the system be turned o’er,
God takes not back the word which once He saith.

I will not doubt the love untold
Which not my worth nor want has bought,
Which wooed me young, and woos me old,
And to this evening hath me brought.

My memory I’ll educate
To know the one historic truth,
Remembering to the latest date
The only true and sole immortal youth.

Be but thy inspiration given,
No matter through what danger sought,
I’ll fathom hell or climb to heaven,
And yet esteem that cheap which love has bought.

Fame cannot tempt the bard
Who’s famous with his God
Nor laurel him reward
Who has his Maker’s nod”.


The ABC of Life watch the video here:
The ABC’s of life as a work of Art – YouTube


“When you don’t know what you want, it’s probably time to begin enjoying what you have. You’ve done so well for yourself”.
The Universe


“Never make someone a priority when to them you are only an option” ~ Maya Angelou


Great comment, found below the video “Remembering the end times”:

“To all you youngsters, when you’ve got a bunch of tabs open in your browser the equivalent of that in the 90’s was a bunch of books spread open across a table.”


“Go to a tree in silence,
you will find, in the soft eloquence of bud and leaf,
serenity, beyond the reach of human kind.
Man spends his noisy days in search of gain.
While trees find God in sunlight, sun and rain”

Connie Harrison “Word of hope”


Lyrics of the song “Wake Up” by Nick Prater.

  1. “Wake up, wake up, the sky is a-singing,                                    

The morning star’s a diamond set in gold.                                 

And from the quiet earth, the tall trees are springing,               

their beauty is a wonder to behold.                                                                                    

Halleluiah, halleluiah, feel the magic of the dawn unfold.        

Halleluiah, halleluiah, love never grows old.

Wake up, wake up, the earth is a-calling.                                  

She’s crying out to wake you from your sleep.

She sings of ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows,        

Her voice will make you laugh and make you weep.                

Halleluiah, halleluiah, feel the magic of the dawn unfold.        

Halleluiah, halleluiah, love never grows old”.


“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

Forest Beukenburg


“A nation can survive its fools and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and he carries his banners openly. But the traitor moves among those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not traitor, he speaks in the accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their garments, and he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of a city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to be feared.” – Cicero, 42 B.C.


A slightly different tone in this subject. I’ve studied the calendars of the ancient Maya priests, the planetary changes, and those of the sun, plus the possibility of ET life, for over 20 years. Initially, I came in touch with more or less secret knowledge, as a transcript-writer of interviews, recordings of whistleblowers’ testimonies, in a connection with a translation team. Due to the existence of the internet of things.

By moving through the interviews and later texts (transcripts) I’ve had an opportunity to properly take notice of the content and the tone of the researcher/ messenger. This experience, of years’ work, with my intention to support free access to information for world citizens, in their own language, has offered me a training in discernment and distinction of authenticity.

The realization of it only later dawned on me, although this sort of training never ends, as you may understand. With the term “fake news” online, twitter and tweet, and the increase of censorship, there’s an appeal to our discernment skills, and the use of common sense, that has never been that strong.

A powerful statement in this video is the following:

“Colonel Corso had an encounter with an ET craft with a being in it, that asked him to stop using radar warfare devices, for they interfered with the frequency of that being’s craft. Colonel Corso leaned forward and asked “What’s in it for me?” and the being answered “A whole new world, when you can take it”.

Aconitum flowering in the snow

Tatatoek, my felted little “Yoda”

Thank you for visiting!

Chapter from the book “The Power of Silence” by Carlos Castaneda

Don Juan and I were sitting at the table in his kitchen. It was early morning. We had just returned from the mountains, where we had spent the night after I had recalled my experience with the jaguar. Recollecting my split perception had put me in a state of euphoria, which don Juan had employed, as usual, to plunge me into more sensory experiences that I was now unable to recall.

My euphoria, however, had not waned. “To discover the possibility of being in two places at once is very exciting to the mind,” he said. “Since our minds are our rationality, and our rationality is our self-reflection, anything beyond our self-reflection either appalls us or attracts us, depending on what kind of persons we are.”

He looked at me fixedly and then smiled as if he had just found out something new.
“Or it appalls and attracts us in the same measure,” he said, “which seems to be the case with both of us.” I told him that with me it was not a matter of being appalled or attracted by my experience, but a matter of being frightened by the immensity of the possibility of split perception.

“I can’t say that I don’t believe I was in two places at once,” I said. “I can’t deny my experience, and yet I think I am so frightened by it that my mind refuses to accept it as a fact.” “You and I are the type of people who become obsessed by things like that, and then forget all about them,” he remarked and laughed. “You and I are very much alike.” It was my turn to laugh. I knew be was making fun of me. Yet he projected such sincerity that I wanted to believe he was being truthful.

I told him that among his apprentices, I was the only one who had learned not to take his statements of equality with us too seriously. I said that I had seen him in action, hearing him tell each of his apprentices, in the most sincere tone, “You and I are such fools. We are so alike!” And I had been horrified, time and time again, to realize that they believed him.

“You are not like any one of us, don Juan,” I said. “You are a mirror that doesn’t reflect our images. You are already beyond our reach.” “What you’re witnessing is the result of a lifelong struggle,” he said. “What you see is a sorcerer who has finally learned to follow the designs of the spirit, but that’s all.

“I have described to you, in many ways, the different stages a warrior passes through along the path of knowledge,” he went on. “In terms of his connection with intent, a warrior goes through four stages. The first is when he has a rusty, untrustworthy link with intent. The second is when he succeeds in cleaning it. The third is when he learns to manipulate it. And the fourth is when he learns to accept the designs of the abstract.”

Carlos Castaneda

Don Juan maintained that his attainment did not make him intrinsically different. It only made him more resourceful; thus he was not being facetious when he said to me or to his other apprentices that he was just like us. “I understand exactly what you are going through,” he continued. “When I laugh at you, I really laugh at the memory of myself in your shoes. I, too, held on to the world of everyday life. I held on to it by my fingernails. Everything told me to let go, but I couldn’t.

Just like you, I trusted my mind implicitly, and I had no reason to do so. I was no longer an average man. “My problem then is your problem today. The momentum of the daily world carried me, and I kept acting like an average man. I held on desperately to my flimsy rational structures. Don’t you do the same.”

“I don’t hold onto any structures; they hold onto me,” I said, and that made him laugh. I told him I understood him to perfection, but that no matter how hard I tried I was unable to carry on as a sorcerer should. He said my disadvantage in the sorcerers’ world was my lack of familiarity with it. In that world I had to relate myself to everything in a new way, which was infinitely mere difficult, because it had very little to do with my everyday life continuity.

He described the specific problem of sorcerers as twofold. One is the impossibility of restoring a shattered continuity; the other is the impossibility of using the continuity dictated by the new position of their assemblage points. That new continuity is always too tenuous, too unstable, and does not offer sorcerers the assuredness they need to function as if they were in the world of everyday life.

“How do sorcerers resolve this problem?” I asked. “None of us resolves anything,” he replied. “The spirit either resolves it for us or it doesn’t. If it does, a sorcerer finds himself acting in the sorcerers’ world, but without knowing how. This is the
reason why I have insisted from the day I found you that impeccability is all that counts. A sorcerer lives an impeccable life, and that seems to beckon the solution. Why? No one knows.”

Don Juan remained quiet for a moment. And then, as if I had voiced it, he commented on a thought I was having. I was thinking that impeccability always made me think of religious morality. “Impeccability, as I have told you so many times, is not morality,” he said. “It only resembles morality. Impeccability is simply the best use of our energy level. Naturally, it calls for frugality, thoughtfulness, simplicity, innocence; and above all, it calls for lack of self-reflection. All this
makes it sound like a manual for monastic life, but it isn’t.

“Sorcerers say that in order to command the spirit, and by that they mean to command the movement of the assemblage point, one needs energy. The only thing that stores energy for us is our impeccability.” Don Juan remarked that we do not have to be students of sorcery to move our assemblage point. Sometimes, due to natural although dramatic circumstances, such as war, deprivation, stress,
fatigue, sorrow, helplessness, men’s assemblage points undergo profound movements.

“If the men who found themselves in such circumstances were able to adopt a sorcerer’s ideology” don Juan said “they would be able to maximize that natural movement with no trouble. And they would seek and find extraordinary things instead of doing what men do in such circumstances: craving the return to normalcy”.

“When a movement of the assemblage point is maximized,” he went on, “both the average man or the apprentice in sorcery becomes a sorcerer, because by maximizing that movement, continuity is shattered beyond repair.” “How do you maximize that movement?” I asked. By curtailing self-reflection,” he replied. “Moving the assemblage point or breaking one’s continuity is not the real difficulty. The real difficulty is having energy. If one has energy, once the assemblage point moves, inconceivable things are there for the asking.”

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is download-6.jpg

Don Juan explained that man’s predicament is that he intuits his hidden resources, but he does not dare use them. This is why sorcerers say that man’s plight is the counterpoint between his stupidity and his ignorance. He said that man needs now, more so than ever, to be taught new ideas that have to do exclusively with his inner world—sorcerers’ ideas, not social ideas, ideas pertaining to man facing the unknown, facing his personal death.

Now, more than anything else, he needs to be taught the secrets of the assemblage point. With no preliminaries, and without stopping to think, don Juan then began to tell me a sorcery story. He said that for an entire year he had been the only young person in the nagual Julian’s house. He was so completely self-centered he had not even noticed when at the beginning of the second year his benefactor brought three young men and four young women to live in the house.

As far as don Juan was concerned, those seven persons who arrived one at a time over two or three months, were simply servants and of no importance. One of the young men was even made his assistant. Don Juan was convinced the nagual Julian had lured and cajoled them into coming to work for him without wages. And he would have felt sorry for them had it not been for their blind trust in the
nagual Julian and their sickening attachment to everyone and everything in the household.

His feeling was that they were born slaves and that he had nothing to say to them. Yet he was obliged to make friends with them and give them advice, not because he wanted to, but because the nagual demanded it as part of his work. As they sought his counseling, he was horrified by the poignancy and drama of their life stories.
He secretly congratulated himself for being better off than they. He sincerely felt he was smarter than all of them put together. He boasted to them that he could see through the nagual’s maneuvers, although he could not claim to understand them.

And he laughed at their ridiculous attempts to be helpful. He considered them servile and told them to their faces that they were being mercilessly exploited by a professional tyrant. But what enraged him was that the four young women had crushes on the nagual Julian and would do anything to please him. Don Juan sought solace in his work and plunged into it to forget his anger, or for hours on end he would read the books that the nagual Julian had in the house.

Reading became his passion. When he was reading, everyone knew not to bother him, except the nagual Julian, who took pleasure in never leaving him in peace. He was always after don Juan to be friends with the young men and women. He told him repeatedly that all of them, don Juan included, were his sorcery apprentices. Don Juan was convinced the nagual Julian knew nothing about sorcery, but he humored him, listening to him without ever believing.

The nagual Julian was unfazed by don Juan’s lack of trust. He simply proceeded as if don Juan believed him, and gathered all the apprentices together to give them instruction. Periodically he took all of them on all-night excursions into the local mountains. On most of these excursions the nagual would leave them by themselves, stranded in those rugged mountains, with don Juan in charge.

The rationale given for the trips was that in solitude, in the wilderness, they would discover the spirit. But they never did. At least, not in any way don Juan could understand. However, the nagual Julian insisted so strongly on the importance of knowing the spirit that don Juan became obsessed with knowing what the spirit was.
During one of those nighttime excursions, the nagual Julian urged don Juan to go after the spirit, even if he didn’t understand it.

“Of course, he meant the only thing a nagual could mean: the movement of the assemblage point,” don Juan said. “But he worded it in a way he believed would make sense to me: go after the spirit. “I thought he was talking nonsense. At that time I had already formed my own opinions and beliefs and was convinced that the spirit was what is known as character, volition, guts, strength. And I believed I didn’t have to go after them. I had them all.

“The nagual Julian insisted that the spirit was indefinable, that one could not even feel it, much less talk about it. One could only beckon it, he said, by acknowledging its existence. My retort was very much the same as yours: one cannot beckon something that does not exist.” Don Juan told me he had argued so much with the nagual that the nagual finally promised him, in front of his entire household, that in one single stroke he was going to show him not only what the spirit was, but how to define it.

He also promised to throw an enormous party, even inviting the neighbors, to celebrate don Juan’s lesson. Don Juan remarked that in those days, before the Mexican Revolution, the nagual Julian and the seven women of his group passed themselves off as the wealthy owners of a large hacienda. Nobody ever doubted their image, especially the nagual Julian’s, a rich and handsome landholder
who had set aside his earnest desire to pursue an ecclesiastical career in order to care for his seven unmarried sisters.

One day, during the rainy season, the nagual Julian announced that as soon as the rains stopped, he would hold the enormous party he had promised don Juan. And one Sunday afternoon he took his entire household to the banks of the river, which was in flood because of the heavy rains. The nagual Julian rode his horse while don Juan trotted respectfully behind, as was their custom in case they met any of their neighbors; as far as the neighbors knew, don Juan was the landlord’s personal servant.

The nagual chose for their picnic a site on high ground by the edge of the river. The women had prepared food and drink. The nagual had even brought a group of musicians from the town. It was a big party which included the peons of the hacienda, neighbors, and even passing strangers that had meandered over to join the fun. Everybody ate and drank to his heart’s content. The nagual danced with all the women, sang, and recited poetry.

He told jokes and, with the help of some of the women, staged skits to the delight
of all. At a given moment, the nagual Julian asked if any of those present, especially the apprentices, wanted to share don Juan’s lesson. They all declined. All of them were keenly aware of the nagual’s hard tactics. Then he asked don Juan if he was sure he wanted to find out what the spirit was. Don Juan could not say no. He simply could not back out.

He announced that he was as ready as he could ever be. The nagual guided him to the edge of the raging river and made him kneel. The nagual began a long incantation in which he invoked the power of the wind and the mountains
and asked the power of the river to advise don Juan. His incantation, meaningful as it might have been, was worded so irreverently that everyone had to laugh. When he finished, he asked don Juan to stand up with his eyes closed.

Then he took the apprentice in his arms, as he would a child, and threw him into the rushing waters, shouting, “Don’t hate the river, for heaven’s sake!” Relating this incident sent don Juan into fits of laughter. Perhaps under other circumstances I, too, might have found it hilarious. This time, however, the story upset me tremendously. “You should have seen those people’s faces,” don Juan continued. “I caught a glimpse of their dismay as I flew through the air on my way to the river.

No one had anticipated that that devilish nagual would do a thing like that.” Don Juan said he had thought it was the end of his life. He was not a good swimmer, and as he sank to the bottom of the river he cursed himself for allowing this to happen to him. He was so angry he did not have time to panic. All he could think about was his resolve that he was not going to die in that frigging river, at the hands of that frigging man.

His feet touched bottom and he propelled himself up. It was not a deep river, but the flood watershad widened it a great deal. The current was swift, and it pulled him along as he dog-paddled, trying not to let the rushing waters tumble him around. The current dragged him a long distance. And while he was being dragged and trying his best not to succumb, he entered into a strange frame of mind. He knew his flaw. He was a very angry man and his pent-up anger made him hate and fight with everyone around.

But he could not hate or fight the river, or be impatient with it, or fret, which were the ways he normally behaved with everything and everybody in his life. All he could do with the river was follow its flow. Don Juan contended that that simple realization and the acquiescence it engendered tipped the scales, so to speak, and he experienced a free movement of his assemblage point. Suddenly, without being in any way aware of what was happening, instead of being pulled by the rushing
water, don Juan felt himself running along the riverbank.

He was running so fast that he had no time to think. A tremendous force was pulling him, making him race over boulders and fallen trees, as if they were not there.
After he had run in that desperate fashion for quite a while, don Juan braved a quick look at the reddish, rushing water. And he saw himself being roughly tumbled by the current. Nothing in his experience had prepared him for such a moment. He knew then, without involving his thought processes, that he was in two places at once.

And in one of them, in the rushing river, he was helpless. All his energy went into trying to save himself. Without thinking about it, he began angling away from the riverbank. It took all his strength and determination to edge an inch at a time. He felt as if he were dragging a tree. He moved so slowly that it took him an eternity to gain a few yards. The strain was too much for him. Suddenly he was no longer running; he was falling down a deep well.

When he hit the water, the coldness of it made him scream. And then he was back in the river, being dragged by the current. His fright upon finding himself back in the rushing water was so intense that all he could do was to wish with all his might to be safe and sound on the riverbank. And immediately he was there again, running at breakneck speed parallel to, but a distance from, the river. As he ran, he looked at the rushing water and saw himself struggling to stay afloat.

He wanted to yell a command; he wanted to order himself to swim at an angle, but he had no voice. His anguish for the part of him that was in the water was overwhelming. It served as a bridge between the two Juan Matuses. He was instantly back in the water, swimming at an angle toward *he bank. The incredible sensation of alternating between two places was enough to eradicate his fear. He no longer cared about his fate. He alternated freely between swimming in the river and racing on the bank.

But whichever he was doing, he consistently moved toward his left, racing away from the river or paddling to the left shore. He came out on the left side of the river about five miles downstream. He had to wait there, sheltering in the shrubs, for over a week. He was waiting for the waters to subside so he could wade across, but he was also waiting until his fright wore off and he was whole again. Don Juan said that what had happened was that the strong, sustained emotion of fighting for his
life had caused his assemblage point to move squarely to the place of silent knowledge.

Because he had never paid any attention to what the nagual Julian told him about the assemblage point, he had no idea what was happening to him. He was frightened at the thought that he might never be normal again. But as he explored his split perception, he discovered its practical side and found he liked it. He was double for days. He could be thoroughly one or the other. Or he could be both at the same time.

When he was both, things became fuzzy and neither being was effective, so he
abandoned that alternative. But being one or the other opened up inconceivable possibilities for him.

While he recuperated in the bushes, he established that one of his beings was more flexible than the other and could cover distances in the blink of an eye and find food or the best place to hide. It was this being that once went to the nagual’s house to see if they were worrying about him. He heard the young people crying for him, and that was certainly a surprise. He would have gone on watching them indefinitely, since he adored the idea of finding out what they thought of him, but the nagual Julian caught him and put an end to it.

That was the only time he had been truly afraid of the nagual. Don Juan heard the nagual telling him to stop his nonsense. He appeared suddenly, a jet black, bell-shaped object of immense weight and strength. He grabbed don Juan. Don Juan did not know how the nagual was grabbing him, but it hurt in a most unsettling way. It was a sharp nervous pain he felt in his stomach and groin.”I was instantly back on the riverbank,” don Juan said, laughing. “I got up, waded the recently
subsided river, and started to walk home.”

He paused then asked me what I thought of his story. And I told him that it had appalled me. “You could have drowned in that river,” I said, almost shouting. “What a brutal thing to do to you. The nagual Julian must have been crazy!” “Wait a minute,” don Juan protested. “The nagual Julian was devilish, but not crazy. He did what
he had to do in his role as nagual and teacher. It’s true that I could have died. But that’s a risk we all have to take.

You yourself could have been easily eaten by the jaguar, or could have died from
any of the things I have made you do. The nagual Julian was bold and commanding and tackled everything directly. No beating around the bush with him, no mincing words.”
I insisted that valuable as the lesson might have been, it still appeared to me that the nagual Julian’s methods were bizarre and excessive. I admitted to don Juan that everything I had heard about the nagual Julian had bothered me so much I had formed a most negative picture of him.

“I think you’re afraid that one of these days I’m going to throw you into the river or make you wear women’s clothes,” he said and began to laugh. “That’s why you don’t approve of the nagual Julian. I admitted that he was right, and he assured me that he had no intentions of imitating his benefactor’s methods, because they did not work for him. He was, he said, as ruthless but not as practical as the nagual Julian.

“At that time,” don Juan continued, “I didn’t appreciate his art, and I certainly didn’t like what he did to me, but now, whenever I think about it, I admire him all the more for his superb and direct way of placing me in the position of silent knowledge.”
Don Juan said that because of the enormity of his experience, he had totally forgotten the monstrous man. He walked unescorted almost to the door of the nagual Julian’s house, then changed his mind and went instead to the nagual Elías’s place, seeking solace.

And the nagual Elías explained to him the deep consistency of the nagual Julian’s actions. The nagual Elías could hardly contain his excitement when he heard don Juan’s story. In a fervent tone he explained to don Juan that his benefactor was a supreme stalker, always after practicalities. His endless quest was for pragmatic views and solutions. His behavior that day atthe river had been a masterpiece of stalking. He had manipulated and affected everyone. Even the river seemed to be at his command.

The nagual Elías maintained that while don Juan was being carried by the current, fighting for his life, the river helped him understand what the spirit was. And thanks to that understanding, don Juan had the opportunity to enter directly into silent knowledge. Don Juan said that because he was a callow youth he listened to the nagual Elías without understanding a word, but was moved with sincere admiration for the nagual’s intensity.

First, the nagual Elías explained to don Juan that sound and the meaning of words were of supreme importance to stalkers. Words were used by them as keys to open anything that was closed. Stalkers, therefore, had to state their aim before attempting to achieve it. But they could not reveal their true aim at the outset, so they had to word things carefully to conceal the main thrust. The nagual Elías called this act waking up intent.

He explained to don Juan that the nagual Julian woke up intent by affirming emphatically in front of his entire household that he was going to show don Juan, in one stroke, what the spirit was and how to define it. This was completely nonsensical because the nagual Julian knew there was no way to define the spirit.

What he was really trying to do was, of course, to place don Juan in the position of silent knowledge.

After making the statement which concealed his true aim, the nagual Julian gathered as many people as he could, thus making them both his witting and unwitting accomplices. All of them knew about his stated goal, but not a single one knew what he really had in mind. The nagual Elías’s belief that his explanation would shake don Juan out of his impossible stand of total rebelliousness and indifference was completely wrong. Yet the nagual patiently continued to explain to him that while he had been fighting the current in the river he had reached the third point.

The old nagual explained that the position of silent knowledge was called the third point because in order to get to it one had to pass the second point, the place of no pity. He said that don Juan’s assemblage point had acquired sufficient fluidity for him to be double, which had allowed him to be in both the place of reason and in the place of silent knowledge, either alternately or at the same time.

The nagual told don Juan that his accomplishment was magnificent. He even hugged don Juan as if he were a child. And he could not stop talking about how don Juan, in spite of not knowing anything—or maybe because of not knowing anything—had transferred his total energy from one place to the other. Which meant to the nagual that don Juan’s assemblage point had a most propitious, natural fluidity.


He said to don Juan that every human being had a capacity for that fluidity. For most of us, however, it was stored away and we never used it, except on rare occasions which were brought about by sorcerers, such as the experience he had just had, or by dramatic natural circumstances,such as a life-or-death struggle. Don Juan listened, mesmerized by the sound of the old nagual’s voice. When he paid attention, he
could follow anything the man said, which was something he had never been able to do with the nagual Julian.

The old nagual went on to explain that humanity was on the first point, reason, but that not every human being’s assemblage point was squarely on the position of reason. Those who were on the spot itself were the true leaders of mankind. Most of the time they were unknown people whose genius was the exercising of their reason.
The nagual said there had been another time, when mankind had been on the third point, which, of course, had been the first point then. But after that, mankind moved to the place of reason.

When silent knowledge was the first point the same condition prevailed. Not every human being’s assemblage point was squarely on that position either. This meant that the true leaders of mankind had always been the few human beings whose assemblage points happened to be either on the exact point of reason or of silent knowledge. The rest of humanity, the old nagual told don Juan, was merely the audience.

In our day, they were the lovers of reason. In the past, they hadbeen the lovers of silent knowledge. They were the ones who had admired and sung odes to the
heroes of either position. The nagual stated that mankind had spent the longer part of its history in the position of silent knowledge, and that this explained our great longing for it.

Don Juan asked the old nagual what exactly the nagual Julian was doing to him. His question sounded more mature and intelligent than what he really meant. The nagual Elías answered it in terms totally unintelligible to don Juan at that time. He said that the nagual Julian was coaching don Juan, enticing his assemblage point to the position of reason, so he could be a thinker ratherthan merely part of an unsophisticated but emotionally charged audience that loved the orderly
works of reason.

At the same time, the nagual was coaching don Juan to be a true abstract
sorcerer instead of merely part of a morbid and ignorant audience of lovers of the unknown. The nagual Elías assured don Juan that only a human being who was a paragon of reason could move his assemblage point easily and be a paragon of silent knowledge. He said that only those who were squarely in either position could see the other position clearly, and that that had been the way the age of reason came to being. The position of reason was clearly seen from the position of silent knowledge.

The old nagual told don Juan that the one-way bridge from silent knowledge to reason was called “concern.” That is, the concern that true men of silent knowledge had about the source of what they knew. And the other one-way bridge, from reason to silent knowledge, was called “pure understanding.” That is, the recognition that told the man of reason that reason was only one island in an endless sea of islands.

The nagual added that a human being who had both one-way bridges working was a sorcerer in direct contact with the spirit, the vital force that made both positions possible. He pointed out to don Juan that everything the nagual Julian had done that day at the river had been a show, not for a human audience, but for the spirit, the force that was watching him. He pranced and frolicked with abandon and entertained everybody, especially the power he was addressing.

Don Juan said that the nagual Elías assured him that the spirit only listened when the speaker speaks in gestures. And gestures do not mean signs or body movements, but acts of true abandon, acts of largesse, of humor. As a gesture for the spirit, sorcerers bring out the best of themselves and silently offer it to the abstract.

What does it mean to be healthy?

The way the medical industry has begun to look at symptoms of flu and fever, any form of response by a healthy immune system to infection, poison or substance causing an allergy, is as if it’s not supposed to be present and if it’s an enemy, a bad thing that should be avoided or done away with.

Hence the general view and methods to fix any condition that is a result of that natural response of our human immune system. The understanding of “health” has become a materialistic view with expectations of how it should look like and feel. Appearances and performance, these two have become the norm in many aspects of our lives, in Western societies since the start of our 2nd Millenium. The external world and the virtual world of the internet of things are given more attention than what’s stirring beneath the inner lining of our bodies and the state of our emotional and mental balance.

Know that I’m impressed by the technical development in surgery and physical repair with plates, new knees, hips and other parts of the physical body. There are doctors and nurses who dedicate their life and love for healing and putting an end to suffering.

Plus, an equally important argument, from that materialistic point of view, that the economy shouldn’t be affected by these “disturbances”: the need to go on sick-leave and be away from work for long periods of time. That’s not convenient to the machinery of money-makers and the slave masters who expect often that human beings are automatons, obeying to what’s designed by these masters on their “blackboards”.

Since I’ve retired from working life, the world of labour and the 24-hours economy looks like utter madness to me. All my working years I’ve worked a maximum of 3 days a week, for I knew that my health would suffer from a 36-40 hours working week. Besides, I need my work as an artist, crafter and writer. Creativity is the oxygen in my body and the gym for my soul.

The biggest mistake that the present medical industry has based its treatments on is the idea that the human immune response is a sign of dis-ease, while in truth it’s a sign of health: the ability to respond to an effect with a lively vigour. The higher the fever, the healthier one’s immune system is. It’s a sign of a proper response and the more we allow our immune system to be alive and kicking, by living in a natural way, which, to me, means life in connection with the soil, the elements, the changing of the weather, a conscious relationship with nature, the animal and plant kingdom, and stewardship in a communal effort to create nurturing conditions within the family and the world at large.

Living conditions without the use of disinfectants, antibiotics, chemical substances: killers of bugs, bacteria and all other crawly critters affecting our system, the stronger we’ll keep ourselves alive, feeling healthy and conscious about our health and the choices we make to take care of our physical, emotional and mental condition.

It’s my pillar of trust in life, that when I say “Yes” to life, life responds with a “Yes” to me.
Most of our anxiety is a result of going in circles with imaginations + fantasies: fear 🧡